I’m uptight on a Friday night
Everybody ‘round me’s feelin’ alright
Panic level is on the rise
Hi-beam headlights in their eyes
Let’s never do this again real soon
I’d rather be stranded on the moon
I thought my dentist was my pal
Then he told me I needed a root canal
He said open wide so I can see
I said gee thanks buddy but I’ll take a knee
Let’s never do this again real soon
I’m crawling back to my cocoon
Let’s never do this again real soon
Let’s never do this again real soon
Let’s never do this again real soon
Let’s never do this again real soon
Heart is pounding, out of breath
Surrounded by people, scared to death
Like Caesar crossing the Rubicon
You’ll turn around and I’ll be gone
Let’s never do this again real soon
I’d rather drink wine from a spittoon
Let’s never do this again real soon
I’d sooner arm wrestle a baboon
Let’s never do this again real soon
I’m hiding out in Saskatoon
Let’s never do this again real soon
Let’s never do this again real soon
Let’s never do this again real soon
Let’s never do this again never ever ever
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